What are the natural enemies of self confidence?
Fear of rejection
We all have this same fear -
the unconquerable fear of rejection. Overtime, this fear can be
conquered or reduced to a minimum by following some of the tips
Fiona, a marketing specialist
of one of the biggest malls in town, offered her hand to her client
and then she stood up
out of the room with her head held high. She was feeling so
victorious after closing a million-dollar deal with a mall
sponsor who agreed
to shoulder the advertising expense for their new world campaign.
She can already hear her voice singing as she got inside her
car and started the ignition.
To an onlooker, Fiona is a successful
woman of the world, who would stop at nothing to get what she wants.
Of course he
is right. However,
the description would not have fit Fiona if it was made ten
years ago, when she was still just out of college and pleasing
due to her fear of being rejected.
Yes Virginia, there are skeletons
in Fiona's closets but those are skeletons she would rather hang
out in the often
to see so that they may learn from her experience.
You see, Fiona was barely out
of college and she had this unreasonable fear that she was not
doing the right thing
and that other
people would not accept her for what she really is. Deep
felt she was talented and beautiful but when faced with
all the girls who were more experienced in life and career,
feel insecure and resorted to mimicking whatever they
were doing or even what they were wearing.
The fear of rejection may have haunted each one of us
at one time or another, It may be caused by our fear
too much dependence on other people's perception of us,
lack of confidence and inability to control our own life.
Fear of rejection is a state
of mind that makes a person feel inadequate, helpless and worthless.
a person from
doing or saying
things because of the fear that other people might
not accept him or disapprove of his actions and words.
A person who is so concerned
about what others may think of him could make his own life miserable
his own mind nor do things that he would normally
do on his own. The fear of rejection can paralyze a person
from being productive.
A person's uniqueness disappears
the moment he puts primary emphasis on what others want him to
A person too
caught up with pleasing
others will start to emulate other people from
the way they dress and the way they behave in society.
This usually happens to young
people who crave attention and acceptance but do not yet have
enough basis for
This is detrimental
to a person's growth because there is no more
room for self expression, only of self denial and the
thought of pleasing
A person who fears being rejected
can be characterized as:
1. A person who acts without confidence - A
person who is not sure of himself will tend
new things. Such lack of confidence will ultimately
make such person unhappy and bitter.
2. Keeps opinion to himself -
A person who is not vocal about his perception of things
keep from voicing out his opinion for fear
of being criticized.
3. Usually depressed - A person
who does not have the freedom to speak for himself
and will no longer have a love for life.
He will tend to act like a remote-control
can not make
4. Confused about his
A person who has fears of being rejected
up confused about
who he really
will lead to an identity crisis and will
angry at himself and at other people
for no reason at all.
5. Lack of self esteem
and self worth-A person who gives more importance to what
may think of
not have much
faith in himself
to start with. This lack of self esteem
may have resulted from feelings of rejection
instilled in him by his
family or friends.
A person who fears rejection
will ultimately be rejected by the people he wants
to please and who
dearly. A person
has the tendency to please other people
will soon get sucked into a difficult
rejection. His behavior
keep the people
he cares about alienated from him.
He sees this as a rejection and then the
goes on and
Fear of losing a friend or loved one
How to deal with the fear of losing someone
Jennifer woke up in a sweat, with the memories of last night's dream
still fresh and surreal. She was having those darned nightmares again.
But those nightmares could not have been mere nightmares because
they were haunting her even during her waking hours.
This one was like all the other
dreams where she was running after a familiar person who would
later on fall from a deep
in all dreams, she was the one hero who was doing everything to
save the same person from falling. The funny thing is, she
could not see
Psychologists would interpret
Jennifer's dream as something which speaks of her inner fears in
life. One such fear which came out
in the open was her fear of losing people near to her, people
The fear of losing someone you
love is normal for most people. This stems from your fear of being
alone in this world and
your fear of
not being able to bear the thought of being the one who was
Thinking about the possibility
of losing someone you love is devastating, not to mention hurtful.
You may have invested
too much of your
time and feelings for that person and so just the thought
of losing that
person would leave you in a state of panic.
There are different categories
of people with whom a person can have deep affections. The fear
of losing any one of
traumatic for a person, especially if he or she has just
experienced a heavy loss, like divorce or death of a loved
A person can fear losing his
spouse, his parents, his children, his relatives, his friends,
or any person who is close
to his heart. This fear can be caused or influenced by
1. Divorce or separation - A
person who recently went through divorce or separation proceedings
by separation anxiety
due to the stress accompanied by the divorce process.
It is not easy for a person to live with a spouse for
and to separate
with that person. Divorce proceedings are usually hostile
and confrontational so such proceedings will always
leave a bad
taste in the mouth.
In the same manner, a person who is about to undergo
a divorce or separation
will also be subjected to stress.
2. Empty nest - A fulltime mother
can easily feel depressed when she realizes her children are growing
are slowly becoming
independent. This anxiety stems from the thought
that for several years, she was needed by her children and
manage on their own, then she will no longer be needed
and useful. A
mother who experienced this fear of losing her children
should try to
immerse herself back into society by finding a business
or a useful hobby
that will keep her occupied. The feeling of uselessness
is natural but you have to find a way to combat this
useful in some other ways. Also, why not look at
situation in another way? Why not accept the fact
that you have reared
so well and that you have prepared them to live their
own lives? And now, it is time for them to try to
3. Death in the family - A death
in the family or in your circle of friends will always make a person
can be. This realization will manifest itself into
the fear of losing
someone you love due to illness or sudden death.
Death is inevitable and it would do you good to
If you are already spending enough time with them,
then you can
improve the quality of time you spend with your
The fear of losing a loved one
is always in existence. One can never get away from this fear because
there are situations
will make a person think of
the possibility of being separated from the people they love.
But the possibility of losing someone is one
of life's facts and
no one can prevent his from
To have confidence, we often
have to get to the root of the problem.